Me right now

It’s 2017 and I’m glad I made it to this beautiful year. I’m also glad that I have GOD in my life.I’m glad my life is going well in my school activities and that I have my family and few friends. All these I’m thankful for.
I’m lying on my bed in school in my small corner and I’m here thinking of my life right now. Actually, I’ve been in this state for a long time now and I planned not to come into 2017 with this state of mind but I think this loneliness has eaten me up and soon it will be inevitable.
Am I up to the point where I feel something is missing in life? Yes I am.
Do I feel I need more? Yes I do.
Loneliness is bad but that’s my state right now, I’m really not happy and do not get me wrong, this is the only medium I have to express myself. I was once jovial I remember. It’s sad that those days are now my past memories, I was happy, I never felt I needed more but right now I do.
And friends…. do I have any? Yes I do, a few but I have my family. I have someone I can talk to and I think she’s like my best friend but I’m scared and do you know why? I’d tell you, it’s because anytime I think I have that one person I feel is close to me, the person does not feel the same way. I have a sister and I talk to her and I think I have 3 or 4 other people I can proudly call my friends. This is not me, this is not the life I want. I need uplifting things in my life.
You know when I got to this point where I’m so scared and shy? I think it was 2012 and since then there’s been this empty space in my life, I’m not living right and I feel God has placed some good people in my life. I came into this year with my 6 or 7 friends, my new room mates and I think they are good people and together we are growing and finding out about each other. My family also came with me into this year and above all GOD.
Sadness, depression, loneliness; these are all things of the mind and I’m only human. I know GOD is always with me whenever I feel lonely, sad or depressed. I write to fill up the void in my life, it makes me happy and so i do it. Have you ever loved someone and the person let you down? That’s me right now, my situation. I know I’ve let people down and I’m not the best of persons but I just want to be HAPPY again and I want to trust peole and love because right now, my only thought of love is that it’s overrated and it hurts all the way.Many people have let me down, a whole lot but I do not want to care about them this year cos 2017 is my happy year and GOD is already making sure of that.
Yours truly
Hillary.

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